War Dogs movie quotes provide the dialogue for the comedy-drama film based on a true story of two young arms dealers in Afghanistan. Todd Phillips directed the film using a screenplay he, Stephen Chin and Jason Smilovic adapted from the book Arms and the Dudes by Guy Lawson. War Dogs opened in theaters on August 19, 2016.
In War Dogs, David Packouz (Miles Teller) learns that he's expecting a baby with girlfriend Iz (Ana de Armas). David knows he needs to support them so he hooks up with junior high friend Efraim Diveroli (Jonah Hill) who thinks they can make a bunch of money as international arms dealers.
One $300 million US government contract later, David and Efraim find themselves in business with some increasingly shady people (including Bradley Cooper) and driving arms through what's called the Triangle of Death in Baghdad. And while the rewards of the job are great, the trouble the men face, including from terrorists with assault weapons and that pesky FBI, the risks they have to take might just be greater.
When you're done checking out these War Dogs movie quotes, read more from other great summer 2016 movies such as Kubo and the Two Strings, Sausage Party, Hell or High Water, and Florence Foster Jenkins.
War Dogs Movie Quotes,
War is an Economy
David Packouz: What do you know about war? They'll tell you it's about patriotism, democracy or some s*** about the other guy hating our freedom. But you wanna know what it's really about? What do you see? A kid from Arkansas doing his patriotic duty to defend his country? I see a helmet, fire-retardant gloves, body armor and an M16. I see $17,500. That's what it costs to outfit one American soldier. Over two million soldiers fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. It cost the American taxpayer $4.5 billion each year just to pay the air conditioning bills for those wars, and that's what war is really about. War is an economy. Anybody who tells you otherwise is either in on it or stupid.
This War Dogs movie quote monologue features David explaining the economy of war. It costs an insane amount to go to war and a lot of people get rich from that all care of the US Government.
You Can Tell Me Anything, David
David Packouz: Hello
Iz: Hi
David Packouz: Hi, baby
Iz: Did I wake you?
David Packouz: No, we're just at the hotel. I'm about to have some breakfast.
Iz: Listen, I get why you're doing this. It's just the lying that kills me. I need you to know that you can tell me anything, David. David?
David Packouz: Yeah, I gotta call you right back.
Iz: Is everything okay?
David Packouz: Yeah, everything's fine. Okay, love you, bye.
In this War Dogs movie quote, David talks to expectant girlfriend Iz at home. As he lies to her about his location, she calls him out on his lying problem, at least until he needs to quickly hang up and flee the area or get shot.
I'm an International Arms Dealer
David Packouz: My name is David Packouz. I'm 22 years old and I'm an international arms dealer. Six months ago, I was a massage therapist in Miami Beach and now here I was with my friend with junior high.
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Efraim Diveroli: I think you should come work for me.
David Packouz: I'm against this war.
Efraim Diveroli: This isn't about being pro-war. This is about being pro-money.
In a voiceover War Dogs movie quote, David explains how a short time ago he was working as a massage therapist and now he's an international arms dealer at the age of 22. While he opposes the war, he does want to earn a bunch of money, especially as he has a child on the way.
I Thought You Meant Pillows
Iz: You told me you guys were selling bedsheets.
David Packouz: I also told you that we were selling other stuff too.
Iz: I thought you meant pillows!
David and Iz argue about David's profession in this War Dogs movie quote. She thought he was selling linens, and other things like pillows, not linens and other things like assault weapons.
Do Business with the People the US Government Can't
Efraim Diveroli: 100 million rounds of AK ammo, you can fill the whole order.
Henry Girard: I'm barred from doing business with the US Government. I'm on a watch list.
David Packouz: You're on a terrorist watch list?
Efraim Diveroli: Do you work for Homeland Security? Relax, bro!
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Henry Girard: I'm not a bad man but in certain situations I have to ask myself, what would a bad man do?
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Efraim Diveroli: This is the job, to do business with the people the US Government can't do business with directly.
This series of War Dogs movie quotes show the interaction with blacklisted arms dealer Henry Girard. As Efraim explains it, their job is to deal with those that the US Government can't, and profit from those sales.
50% We Live, 50% We Die
David Packouz: Is this safe, driving to Baghdad?
Marlboro: Very safe, 50/50
David Packouz: What, like 50% we live, 50% we die?
Marlboro: Yes, this is why we drive through the night. It is quite safer.
David Packouz: How much safer?
Marlboro: 50/50
When Marlboro explains to the guys that their safety is 50/50, David is surprised that they are taking such a risk. According to Marlboro, the 50/50 is the safer side of traveling in the hostile area.
Your Bid Was Far Too Attractive to Pass Up
Pentagon Official: Frankly, we were a tad concerned with your performance history against a deal of this size.
Other Pentagon Official: But after meeting you face to face, we feel like we're in good hands on this one.
David Packouz: We won't let you down, sirs.
Pentagon Official: Not to mention, your bid was far too attractive to pass up.
Efraim Diveroli: What did you mean by that exactly?
Other Pentagon Official: It means you boys low-balled the entire industry.
Efraim Diveroli: Yeah, uh, by how much?
Pentagon Official: You guys came in $53 million lower than the nearest competition.
Efraim Diveroli: Oh, okay
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Wolf Blitzer: Now to a question that has no clear answer. How did two twenty-something young men land a $300 million Pentagon contract?
In the scene that set off the chain of events on which the film is based, Efraim and David meet with Pentagon officials in this War Dogs movie quote. The pair learn that their $300 million bid has been accepted, which is good, but that they also bid exceptionally low, which isn't exactly great.
Bottom Feeders Who Make Money Off of War
David Packouz: They called guys like us war dogs, bottom feeders who make money off of war without ever stepping foot on the battlefield. It was meant to be derogatory, but we kind of liked it.
David talks about how folks like him got the name war dogs. They're profiting off of the war, which some see as wrong, but they, obviously, enjoy the money.
I Have to Go First, I'm American
Efraim Diveroli: Sorry, don't worry, I have to go first, I'm American.
Making his way through a Middle East airport, Efraim gives an especially stereotypical response to those in line in front of him. Claiming Americanness to get through a wrong line might be one of the funniest and most cringeworthy War Dogs movie quotes.
The Triangle of Death
David Packouz: You seriously want to drive to Baghdad?
Efraim Diveroli: David, we're gun runners. Let's go run some guns!
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Captain Philip Santos: You drove these, through the Triangle of Death?
David Packouz: The triangle of death, bro!
Efraim Diveroli: We drive through all triangles, including your mom's.
As part of their contract, David and Efraim need to deliver guns to military officials in Baghdad. They decide to drive there, which isn't the safest decision, especially when they learn that they traveled through the Triangle of Death along the way.